Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize