A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize