Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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