oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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