Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize