At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize