the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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