Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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