I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize