My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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