So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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