how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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