If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize