In the future we'll all be gay
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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