This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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