tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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