I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize