I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize