the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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