areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize