Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize