I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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