If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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