I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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