I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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