you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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