life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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