I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize