He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
