I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize