Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize