Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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