i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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