also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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