Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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