she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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