I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
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Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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