i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize