but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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