careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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