Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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