So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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