I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize