Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize