He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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