Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize