Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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