I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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