Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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