Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize